FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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