It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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