she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
