Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
