I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
