Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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