Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
