ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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