the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
