are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize