after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
