ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
