It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
