Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
