To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
