I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
