Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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