first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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