ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
