3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
