Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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