I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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