god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you win again, gameday.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
