I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
