well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
