i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
