i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
