This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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