her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
