I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
