Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
