im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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