So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
