My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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