How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if only i could text you this smell
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
