so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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