I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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