I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just want nice things and good sex
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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