kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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