There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
