Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
