Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
