Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
