At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
