Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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