I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Holy shit dude........stairs
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
