i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
