it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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