i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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