How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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