but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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