last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize