the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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