a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
