Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
