ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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