We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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