the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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