gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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